My bed is crowded this morning. The Cat, The Girl, The Boy, and The Most Handsome Husband are sharing it with me. The Cat is the only one who knows what personal space means (at least today) I have a list a mile long to accomplish today. Cleaning. Shopping. Preparing for The Girl's 4th birthday party/our housewarming party (EEK!! Only 2 more weeks!) But here I sit, cuddled with my babies, listening to them breathe, and wishing I could keep them little forever. Today is a day I think of what could have been, but not with sadness (today at least) I realize I could have been planning a party for a 7 year old. I always imagine our first baby would have been a boy. I don't know why, but I think I like the idea of a big brother angel watching out for the rest of my babies. He'd want something Manly, not the baby theme of The Girl's party (Veggie Tales, anyone?) Then I think if we hadn't had a second loss, The Boy would never be here. That makes me sad. I wouldn't have my cuddle bug. My loving, sweet, precious, don't put me down or I'll scream, bundle of joy. I realize that all things happen for a reason. Without our loss(es), and struggle to have a baby, I wouldn't appreciate my babies as much. I might not be able to offer an encouraging word for someone in the middle of their journey.
My bed might be full this morning, but so is my heart. So, here I sit, crowded and uncomfortable, but happy and content.
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